


Love In Fear

by SuperVengerDead_615



Series: Love In Fear [1]
Category: Scrubs
Genre: Emotional Roller Coaster, Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Secret Relationship, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-16 06:56:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3478685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperVengerDead_615/pseuds/SuperVengerDead_615
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something that starts with a misunderstanding and snowballs into something much more confusing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I am going to die.

OK, so here’s what happened. I was standing beside the nurses’ station talking to Turk and a few residents. Carla was behind the counter and Elliot stood on my left. The Todd was sitting on the counter grinning and nodding.

Some resident was having girl problems and had asked for opinions from all the other guys. After listening to Todd’s most likely made up story of some blonde he picked up last night, Turk had started shoveling out his advice and experience, but had trailed off into nothing as Carla started glaring at him.

Then it was my turn. After several dead ends of advice, which the kid had already tried I finished with the sentence, “Be spontaneous.”

“Yea, girls love spontaneous!” Elliot had chirped in agreement.

“Spontaneous how?”

“You could send her flowers at work.”

“Win her over before you ask her out.” Turk grinned as Carla smiled at him, nodding her head.

“What if she still shoots me down? I want at least one kiss from her.” He whined.

“You could always tell her that, some girls are nice enough to grant a wish like that.” Elliot chirped.

“Or you could just be spontaneous and kiss her.” Turk added.

“Spontaneous?”

“Yea, just grab her and kiss her.” I grinned.

Now here’s the bad part. My plan was to grab Elliot and kiss her, I know she wouldn’t have minded, unfortunately, what I hadn’t realized was that Elliot was no longer standing beside me and had been replaced by none other than Dr. Cox. Again, unfortunately I didn’t realize this until it was too late.

Yep, you guessed it, I kissed Dr. Cox.

I pull away very slowly, and then ran faster than I ever have in my entire life. I used the stairs, running down three flights, ran past the janitor out the front door, jumped on Sasha and drove as fast as I could to Elliot’s place. Dr. Cox would find me at Turk and Carla’s and Elliot was spending the night at Keith’s so I could cower in fear all by myself.

 

* * *

 

“What was that?” Carla asked after a long pregnant silence.

Dr. Perry Cox glared, and for once Carla flinched. He turned and stalked off down the hall in the same direction JD had gone, knocking over an intern that just happened to get in his way.

“Baby I’m not ready to go to JD’s funeral.” Turk murmured.

“None of us are.” Carla agreed, patting his hand gently.

“Poor JD.” Elliot sighed. “Wait! I had to ask him a question! Oh…Never mind. I’m not chasing after him now.”

“You know Elliot, if you hadn’t moved…”

“Dr. Cox still scares me! I’m a little surprised JD didn’t hear him growl at me to move.”

“Dr. Cox must still scare JD too, with the way he ran out of here.” Turk murmured. “Then again, anybody would react like that if they accidentally kissed Dr. Cox.”

“Especially if he hates them as much as he hates JD.” Elliot added.

“Don’t you bumbling idiots have work to do?”

At the sound of Dr. Cox’s rumbling voice everyone scattered in every direction, everyone but Carla.

Carla continued shuffling through the files in front of her, a smirk on her face.

“What?” Cox snapped.

“You know, Bambi will suffer enough with fear and worry, why don’t you just leave him alone?”

“Why should I do that?” He asked, head cocked to the side.

Carla chuckled. “You’re not going to let Bambi live this down, are you?”

Cox grinned before spinning on his heel and disappearing down the hall again.


	2. Chapter 2

It’s been a few hours, so I’ve relaxed. Presently, I’m sitting on Elliot’s couch watching TV and chewing on a candy necklace hanging around my neck; I found it in my room. I’m busy watching _The Lion King_ on TV when I hear a knock on the door. It could be one of two things, one of Elliot’s neighbors or a Jehovah’s witness. If it’s a Jehovah’s witness and Turk finds out I ignored it, he’ll kill me, but if it’s one of Elliot’s neighbors and I ignore it, then she’ll kill me. So I decide to answer it.

I’m still munching on my necklace as I move to open the door. I unlock the two deadbolts, the chain and the slide, and move to open the door slowly.

Dr. Cox is there, his arms folded high on his chest and glaring down his nose at me. He’s still wearing his lab coat and his stethoscope is still hanging around his neck like he just came straight from the hospital.

I’m frozen, like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. I get the sudden notion to slam the door in his face and run, but I know that wouldn’t be the best idea in the world. Still, I give the door a gentle push, hoping it will slam closed and lock itself in his face as I take a step back.

He takes a step forward, stopping the door with his foot. My heart is beating so fast right now it can’t be healthy. I want to yell out that it wasn’t my fault, and that I didn’t mean to do it, but my mouth won’t move. Instead I jerked back before darting into my room, closing the door behind me and locking it. Stepping back, I listen carefully.

It’s when I hear the front door close and the locks being clicked into place that I panic and open the window. It isn’t until I’ve got my entire upper body hanging out the window that I realize I’m on the fourth floor. The fall would probably kill me, and I’ve never been very good at climbing.

I swear I just heard Dr. Cox mumble “Newbie” right outside the door.

The door flies open, a chunk of the doorframe flying into the room and whizzing past my head. That’s when I realized he had kicked the door open.

Oh my God I’m going to die.

He steps close. I closed my eyes and shrink as far back as I can.

“What _exactly_ were you thinking, Newbie?” His voice isn’t loud like he’s yelling, but it’s not quiet either. I can feel his breath on my face as he speaks. “What could possibly have been running through that tiny peanut you call a brain?” He pokes the side of my head. “Well, Sara?”

It takes me a second to realize he wants me to speak. Unfortunately the only noise that comes out of my mouth is an oh-so manly squeak.

He flicks my ear. “Answer me. What were you thinking, Hana?”

“I-I didn’t mean…”

He flicks my ear again. “Not what I meant. I know you thought Barbie was standing next to you.”

I am at a complete loss at what he wants me to say. Its then that I realize exactly how close he’s standing to me, mere inches or less between our chests.

“Newbie?”

“I-I don’t know what you want me to…”

“What were you _thinking_?” He emphasizes by flicking my ear again.

“Ouch!” I cover my ear. I think I know what he wants, but I can’t tell him. I can’t tell him that I…that I liked it.

“Newbie!” He snapped.

“I liked it!” Apparently I can.

Last will, I want Turk to have all my stuff. Elliot can fish through the box in my closet holding things all my old girlfriends left behind. There’s a box of my old toys (and not so old toys) under my bed, Jack and Elizabeth can have them, divide them up however. Dan can have….

Wait a second. Is…have I lost my mind? Is Dr. Cox….Is he kissing me?

“Be quiet, Newbie.”

I nod, and he pushes me back on the bed.

 

* * *

 

I kind of always knew Dr. Cox would be the rough type.

Because Dr. Cox and I both had the day off, and Elliot wouldn’t be home until three, we stayed in bed all day.

Yea shut up.

He left at two, and it wasn’t until I heard the front door close behind him that I realized we hadn’t talked about anything. How was I supposed to act at work tomorrow? Do I act like it did happen? Or like it didn’t? Do I avoid him and act like he never found me and I’m still afraid he’s going to kill me? Am I possibly over-thinking this like I always do?

I’m going to stop thinking and sleep now, God knows I need it.


	3. Chapter 3

My ass, my hips, my back, my shoulder, and my throat all hurt like hell. Why my shoulder? Because he bit me, he freaking bit me! He broke the skin; it was bleeding when I woke this morning.

Anyway, I’m doing my best to walk without a limp, and to repress the wince. As soon as I’m inside I lean heavily against the front counter and sigh.

Carla glances up and frowns at me. “You OK there, Bambi?”

“Yea, why?”

She smirks at me, setting a chart down. “You look like you’re having contractions or something.”

“Very funny.”

“Congratulations Erin! When’s the due date?” Dr. Cox grinned, one hand in his pocket and the other tossing a chart on the counter.

I flinched, shaking my head.

“Vanilla Bear!”

“Chocolate Bear!” I grinned, turning to greet Turk as he and Todd approached.

The Todd hopped up on the counter, shooting a wink at Carla.

“What’s up man, you never came home the other night.”

“Oh, sorry about that, I crashed at Elliot’s.”

“I forgot you still had a key.” Elliot chirped, joining Carla behind the counter.

“Is that a problem?” I ask, fishing in my pocket for the key in case she wanted it back.

“Nah, it’s fine, I just forgot you still had a key is all.” She shrugged.

I abandon my pockets and resist a wince as my shoulder jerks.

“Dude!” Turk grins, reaching out and pulling the collar of my shirt aside, revealing my bitten shoulder. “Who or what did you pick up last night?”

“Dude, nice! High-five!” The Todd lifted his hand. Normally I wouldn’t high-five The Todd for several reasons, but Turk grabbed my wrist and lifted my hand. Todd slapped my hand and snapped his fingers.

“So?” Turk prompted.

“It’s nothing.” I shrug, then immediately regret it, letting out a hiss.

Turk’s hand snapped back.

“Bambi, you’re bleeding!” Carla announced, circling the counter to come look at my shoulder.

I felt someone smack the back of my head and a large hand clamped down on my good shoulder. “You’re a doctor, why didn’t you treat it earlier? You know what infection is, don’t you?”

I look up at Dr. Cox, blinking innocently. “Infection?” I murmur stupidly.

Carla swats Dr. Cox away, snapping something about making it worse or something like that. She prods gently around the wound. “Big mouth.”

“What?” Turk, myself, and Dr. Cox all snap in unison.

“Nothing.” She hums, smiling. “Follow me, Bambi, I’ll fix you up.” She led me by the arm.

I continue to repress my limp as Carla drags me away to an empty room.

 

* * *

 

“So Bambi, who bit you? Really?” Carla asked, dabbing my wounded shoulder with alcohol.

“I’m not sure I can say.”

“What do you mean? You don’t know who bit your own shoulder?”

“I know who it was, I just don’t know if I can say anything about it.”

Carla gave me a curious glance. “Well, we’re going to have to stitch this up a bit. I’ll go get someone.” She grabbed a few gauze and placed them in my hand. “Hold that over the wound.” She told me. I watched her quickly clean up the mess she’d made, tossing out the used gauze, and putting away the alcohol before leaving the room.

Carla returns with Dr. Cox in tow.

“Don’t look so scared, Bambi, I’ll stay here the entire time.” Carla smirked.

“Come on Ashley, relax.” Dr. Cox smacks my back and begins preparing to mend my shoulder.

“W-Where’s Turk?”

“He’s got surgery.” Carla explained.

“Elliot?”

“With a patient.”

I paused. “Todd?” I could practically feel Dr. Cox glaring at me.

Carla laughed. “With Turk.”

“Doug?” What can I say, I was beginning to panic.

Dr. Cox smacked me on the head again. “Come on Newbie, Nervous Guy?” He snapped. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Yea, I believe that.

“Nurse Turkleton.”

“Bobbo!” Dr. Cox grinned.

“Perry.” Dr. Kelso nodded gruffly.

“You needed something?” Carla asked.

“Please come with me.” He huffed, turning and leaving without explanation.

Carla shrugged, turning towards the door. “Sorry Bambi, good luck.”

I watch her leave with slight fear. The door closes behind her like my doom sealing closed.

“You should have said something.” Dr. Cox murmurs.

“I…” I trail off. What the hell do I do? Say? What do I anything!

“Newbie.”  He flicks the back of my head.

“Ouch.” I mutter weakly. I lift my arm to rub my head and he smacks it back down to my side.

“Don’t do that or I’ll stab you.” He threatened.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t hurt me.” I replied sarcastically.

“Watch it, Alice.”

“Yes sir.” He still scares me.

“You two OK?” Carla asks, popping her head into the room.

“Help me.”

Dr. Cox smacks me again.

Carla smiles. “Oh, poor Bambi.”

“I just realized something!” Elliot squeaks angrily, barging into the room. Surprisingly, Dr. Cox didn’t slip or anything at the sudden interruption. “You had sex in my apartment!”

“In my old room!” I shot back. “It’s not like I desecrated your couch or kitchen counter or anything.”

“Big word, Holly.”

“It’s not your room anymore! It’s my guest room!” She screeched.

“It used to be my room, and guess what, I’ve had sex in it before!” I snapped back. “And I did change the sheets.”

Elliot gave off that high pitched growl she does before storming out of the room, only to return a moment later with her hand held out. “Give me your key.”

I reach for my pocket but Dr. Cox stabs me with the needle in his hand, causing me to jerk back into my original position. “He’ll give it to you later.” He grumbles.

Elliot huffs, blowing a chunk of hair out of her face before disappearing again.

“You know Bambi, I’ll find out who it was.” Carla announces suddenly.

“What?”

“I’ll find out who bit your shoulder there.” She nods her head at me, arms crossed over her chest as she leans against the wall. “Even if it’s some random stranger, which I know it wasn’t.” She smirks.

“Done.” Dr. Cox announces. He places a bandage over my stitches and pats my good shoulder. “Now get to work.”

 

* * *

 

Bang, ouch. Bang, ouch. Bang, ouch.

This is the sound of sex against a wall in the supply closet, you know, with all those shelves at my back. Or at least that’s what it sounds like in my head. In reality, I’m muffling screams and moans. I’m gonna have striped bruises on my back and ass.

One moment I’m walking down the hall reading a patients chart and the next I’m being pushed up against the inside of the supply closet door. So this…thing isn’t over, I guess.

Dr. Cox doesn’t seem to mind that I’m practically ripping the hair right out of his head. I don’t know what it is but I love the feel of those curls between my fingers. Maybe it’s because I’ve never dated anyone with curly hair before, who knows?

I don’t know how long I can hold it in. He’s good. He’s really good.

“D…Nah!” I’m so very incoherent right now. My legs are weak, my head is thrown back, and my eyes are rolled back into my head. The epitome of pleasure, right?

 “Scream.” He pants into my ear.

And I do.

After several minutes of calming down, regaining weak legs, and straitening clothes and hair, I clear my throat. “What…”

Dr. Cox grabs my chin, roughly jerking my head to look at him. “This stays between you and me, understood Mary?”

I go to nod, but he’s holding my head stiff. “Y-Yes.”

He leans back and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his lab coat. “Good girl.” He gives me a quick nod before marching out of the room like he had just given me some sort of lecture after catching me sleeping in the closet while on duty.

I rub my jaw, wondering curiously if he left a bruise there too. It’s then I realize Dr. Cox does everything roughly. Lectures, lessons, teasing, and even sex. I wonder if it’s just me, or is he like that with everyone?

As I pick up my fallen chart with a wince and leave the closet slowly and carefully, I wonder how long all of this will last.


	4. Chapter 4

Six months, that can’t be right, can it?

“Dr. Dorian, are you paying attention?”

… “Banana hammock!” Stupid.

Dr. Kelso glares at me. “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.” He mutters, then turns away to lead rounds to the next patient.

Elliot punches my arm. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Just thinking about something.” Six months can’t possibly be right. I refuse to believe I’ve been sleeping with Dr. Cox for six months.

“Newbie!”

Gah! I never expect him and it always makes me jump when he shouts like that. I turn and give him a goofy, confused smile. Yeah. I’m cool.

“Perry, what is it you need?” Dr. Kelso practically snarls.

Dr. Cox approaches, grinning cockily and mock waving at Kelso. “Hey there, Bob-o, how are you today? Torturing our poor interns, self-esteem still too high for you? Where’s your lackey?”

“We aren’t interns anymore, haven’t been for a while.” Elliot mumbles, not loud enough to disrupt the on-going conversation.

“Ted?” Kelso asks.

“Right here, Dr. Cox.” Ted raises his hand weakly from where he stood beside Dr. Kelso, looking particularly depressed today.

“What do you want, Perry?” Kelso huffs, tapping the metal chart in his hands.

“For once I haven’t come to bother you.” Dr. Cox announces. He turns and continues marching down the hall as if he hasn’t even spoken to any of us. “Newbie Come!” He snaps.

I jump into action, skittering down the hall after him in attempts to catch up.

“Dr. Dorian!” Kelso shouts after me. Frankly, under the circumstances, Dr. Cox scares me more than Kelso.

“Good choice there, Sandra.” Dr. Cox shoves a couple charts into my hands. “I want you to check the results on the tox screen I had done for Mrs. Benson, then go do that test on Mr. Hover I told you to do this morning. After you finish that, come find me.” He smacks my shoulder and veers off course toward the elevator.

He pulled me out of rounds for that? Oh well, it’s better than suffering with Kelso for another half-hour.

 

* * *

 

Note to self: next time Dr. Cox tells you to do something, do it, don’t put it off until later and then forget.

After doing what I was told I found Dr. Cox in the on-call room. He locked us in, growled something about not doing Mr. Hover’s test this morning, and threw me on one of the beds.

My face is in the pillow, muffling the sounds I’m making. He’s being extra rough, this has only happened a few times, it just means he’s angry about something.

It’s things like this that make me believe he’s just using me as a stress relief, but then why does he kiss me? If this is impersonal, why does he kiss me? Sometimes softly, sometimes passionately. Why does he stay afterwards and sleep beside me? Sometimes hold me, cuddle even, as he’s falling asleep? And, if this is just stress relief then why me? Why not Elliot or Jordan, or even some random stranger?

“Ah…!” That spot. That damn spot he keeps hitting, teasing. And his fingers are digging into my hip.

“Quiet.” He nearly hisses.

I’d like to see him be quiet in a situation like this. He knows I’m not the quiet type, in fact, he usually encourages me to be noisy. When we’re having sex, I mean, any other time he’s yelling at me to shut the hell up. So to make him happy I shove my face further into the pillow and even take a mouthful in order to muffle the sounds more.

My fingers clench in the sheets and I scream into the pillow as I come. My muscles relax, and the rest of my body slumps as Dr. Cox holds my hips up and continues. I moan because he’s hitting that spot and I know he wants me to come again. He told me once as I was drifting off into sleep that he loved it when I came because of the way my muscles would first tighten and then convulse around him.

He freezes suddenly, and it takes me a moment to realize why. Someone is jiggling the handle of the door, trying to get in. I stiffen too, listening intently.

“Dude, the doors locked.” That’s Todd’s voice.

“Maybe Kelso locked it.” Oh God, that’s Turk.

I nearly let out a squeak as Dr. Cox shifts.

Todd chuckles. “Maybe it’s locked ‘cause someone’s getting their freak on. You know what I’m sayin’?” I hear the slap of Todd getting his high-five.

“It’s locked because I’m trying to get some sleep without any of you idiots bothering me!” Dr. Cox yells at the door.

“Shit, it’s Cox.” Turk hisses. Their feet then hurriedly disappear from the door.

With little to no warning Dr. Cox begins thrusting again, causing me to yelp once in surprise before burying my face in the pillow again.

 

* * *

 

“Turk baby, have you seen Bambi?” Carla asked, catching the surgeon’s attention as he approached the nurses’ station.

“Not since this morning.” He shrugged.

“Dr. Cox called him out of rounds this morning, pissed off Kelso pretty bad too.” Elliot announced, popping the cherry lollipop out of her mouth.

“Dr. Cox locked himself in the on-call room, trying to get some sleep. Todd and I nearly got our heads bitten off for trying to go in there.” Turk explained, kissing Carla on the cheek.

“That’s odd. I’ll just page him.” Carla shrugged.

 

* * *

 

Ouch. Dr. Cox just tossed my buzzing pager at my head.

“It’s Carla.” I mutter absently, squinting at the letters in the dark and recognizing the word ‘Bambi’.

“Go before she comes looking for you.” He grumbles.

I nod, getting up slowly and pulling on my clothes. As I go to move away from the bed I feel Dr. Cox smack my butt before turning over.

“I’ll come find you later.” He announces.

I leave the on-call room carefully, still a little stunned that Dr. Cox smacked my ass.

As I near the nurses’ station I see Turk and Todd and it takes everything in me not to blush. “What’s up?” I ask, holding up my pager.

“Where have you been all morning Bambi?” Carla asks, hands on her hips.

“Running errands for Dr. Cox.”

“That jerk, he’s sleeping in the on-call room.” Turk mutters.

“Well, I don’t think he’s feeling well today.” I say in excuse, shrugging my shoulders.

“Dude, that guys’ got you by the balls! Why are you always sticking up for him?” Turk sighs, shaking his head.

“Leave him alone. Dr. Cox isn’t all that bad a guy.” Carla says.

“Yea, remember that time he punched Dr. Kelso for picking on me?” Elliot chirps.

“I’ll admit he’s got his good points but look at the way he treats JD!” Turk yelled. “He’s always calling him ‘Newbie’ or some random girls name, always yelling at him, shoving patients off on him, and all sorts of other things. Who knows how else he’s using him!”

“Dr. Cox only yells at me when I mess up.” I mutter.

Turk glares at me, OK even I know I’m lying. Dr Cox yells at me sometimes when I didn’t do anything.

Carla looks a little pissed. “Bambi, if he’s bothering you, you tell me, OK?” She says, pointing a finger at me, the other hand still on her hip in a no-nonsense way. 

“I’m fine.”

There’s a sharp whistle down the hall and I jump, not expecting it.

“Barbie!” Dr. Cox yells. He comes up behind me and leans on the counter. “Do you want to tell me why you haven’t run that test on Ms. Kelly yet?”

“I-I had some other patients so I asked one of my interns to do it.” Elliot explained, standing up straight and stuttering. “Keith should have…”

“I didn’t ask your boy-toy to do it, I asked you and now it’s your ass. Do it now!”

My God he’s pissed. No long teasing speech, no threats of losing her job.

Elliot gapes like a fish for about five seconds before disappearing in a rush.

“Are you OK?” Carla asks, sounding concerned.

“Why?” He snaps.

“What do you mean ‘why’?” Carla snaps right back.

Before Carla can go into any sort of reprimanding rant Dr. Cox storms off. Carla’s mouth hangs open, frozen on the words that were about to come out of her mouth.

“Baby…” Turk mumbles worriedly.

“Oh no he didn’t.” She huffs storming off down the hall after him.

 

* * *

 

I knew Dr. Cox was preoccupied with something. He initiated it, like he always does, by kissing me. But then he stopped. Heaving a sigh and running a hand through his hair, he turned away and sat on the bed.

I stood idle, not knowing what to do. Dr. Cox usually initiates, guides, and follows through. I’m not really expected to do anything but follow and do anything he asks. But I felt like I should do something. He seemed stressed, like he needed release.

That’s how I ended up on my knees, my head between his legs. I’ve never done anything like this, but he seems to be enjoying it. He’s grunting, sighing, and even moaning a little too. He’s pulling my hair and clenching my shoulder, jerking my head every so often.

It’s not so bad, my jaw feels stretched, he’s salty and musk-y, but it’s not so bad. I almost choke when he comes without warning. He pulls my head back and kisses me roughly, pulling me up and onto his lap. His hands slide up the back of my shirt and he falls back, bringing me with him.

I’ve…never been on top before. It’s definitely different. I’m somewhat in control but he’s still guiding me. Hands on my hips, pushing me up and pulling me down. My hands are resting on his chest, my head is thrown back and I’m staring at the ceiling. I think he’s going deeper than usual, but it’s hard to tell.

“Fuck.”

I’ve noticed that when Dr. Cox says something during sex, it’s usually a swear.

His hips jerk suddenly, and he’s hitting that spot. I’m moaning and screaming now, moving faster on my own.

“Come.” He commands, beginning to slam me up and down.

He holds my hips down as he comes, this time I know he’s deeper than usual.

“Feel better?” I pant, lying next to him.

“Yea. Thanks.” He mutters.

I hum and shift to rest my head on his shoulder. “Want to talk about it?”

“No.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Jordan is here?”

“Yea.” Carla answers. “I saw her stalking the halls this morning.”

“She said something about getting Dr. Cox back.” Elliot muttered into her chart. “Again.”

That must be the reason for his bad mood. Why do I suddenly feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place?

“Hey! DJ, have you seen Perry?”

I jump because Jordan has just magically materialized beside me, staring at me like she’d kill me if I lied to her. “I don’t know, why?”

She sighed, leaning back on the counter. “I figured you’d know, considering how you follow him around like some lost puppy all day long.”

“I do n…”

“Does he keep little treats in his pockets for you or something, Lassie? Because frankly it’s a little disturbing the way you follow him around, jumping at attention to his every command.”

“I do n…”

“Jennifer!” I jumped spinning around to see Dr. Cox barreling down the hall towards us.

“Sure you don’t.” Jordan whispered over my shoulder.

Dr. Cox stops abruptly, his eyes dart between the two of us, Jordan looking all too happy with herself and me, looking like I’m about to piss my pants any second. He smacks me in the head with a chart, holding it there as I flail unexpectedly.

“Take this and go, Kelsey.” He whistles sharply. “Scat!” 

I quickly skitter away, flipping open the chart to see where I’m going.

 

* * *

 

I can see Jordan and Dr. Cox standing at the nurses’ station. Jordan doesn’t look too happy about something, but then she spots me and smirks, motioning for me to come closer. I wouldn’t but Jordan scares me and my alternative is the creepy Janitor lurking behind me.

She grabs my scrubs and hauls me closer as I near. “Well JD, it seems Perry doesn’t want me anymore, too preoccupied with a new toy. We had fun once, how about another go?”

Holy Crap. “N-No, I-I…”

“Bambi is already seeing someone.” Carla murmurs from the other side of the counter.

“Really?”

“Y-Yes, so could you let go?” I ask nervously.

Jordan glances over at Dr. Cox, grins, and pulls me in for a kiss. I pull away after a second, sputtering, confused and a little scared for my life. Dr. Cox turns and glares at me. I shrink, still sputtering incoherently.

“JD!” Turk comes up behind me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “What’s up man, you look spooked? Are you seeing that ghost again? You know, the one you saw back in college?”

“No, besides, I only saw Harold at night.” I muttered, relaxing with the presence of my best friend nearby. “Bastard stole my favorite shirt.”

“And my lucky boxers, dude. No wonder his roommate killed him.”

“No his girlfriend killed him.” I corrected.

“Oh yea, the psycho witch that was convinced he was cheating with some teacher, right?”

“Yea.”

“O-Kay, Tarzan, Jane, I’m sure you both have work to do.” Dr. Cox shoos us away, waving his hands in such a motion. “Enough with the ghost stories, shoo.”

“That’s it!” Turk pulls away, shoving me behind him in a protective manner. “I am sick and tired of the way you treat JD! Sure, he’s a little weird and different, and he’s a bit of a pushover, but that doesn’t mean you can call him names and walk all over him.” He’s practically yelling at Dr. Cox, and I fear for my best friend because the more he says, the angrier Dr. Cox looks.

Carla is in the background, waving her arms wildly to try and shut her husband up. Jordan is looking awfully smug, watching the scene while she reclines against the counter.

“…His name isn’t ‘Newbie’, nor is it any random girls’ name you can come up with. Its JD, John Dorian, get it through that thick, egotistical skull of yours! And another thing, stop pushing your patients off on him, you’re a doctor, deal with your own patients ‘cause JD has his own to deal with too. Just because JD listens to you doesn’t mean you can do anything you want with him. What else are you doing with him, huh?”

Turk won’t die, I’ll jump in the way of the bullet…or strangling hands, whichever it is.

Dr. Cox wipes at his nose and crosses his arms, standing tall and looking intimidating, but Turk isn’t backing off. He leans in, smirking, and says the five words I’m dreading.

“I’m using him for sex.”

It’s dead silent for about two seconds before Carla and Jordan burst out laughing. I’m standing behind Turk, alternating between gaping like a fish and sputtering.

Dr. Cox chuckles at Turk’s expression before walking off down the hall.

Jordan walks over and pats Turk’s shoulder. “You have nothing to worry about, Perry never won at gay-chicken against Ben, he always pulled away at the last second.” She reassures. “Perry is even a little homophobic; it’s why he’s so weird about hugs.” She’s acting weird. “Right, DJ?”

I blink dumbly.

Jordan laughs. “Now to find Perry’s new toy and get rid of her.” I swear she just practically skipped down the hall.

“Come on baby, let’s check your blood sugar.” Carla chuckles.

 

* * *

 

What Dr. Cox said is bothering me more than it probably should. _“I’m using him for sex.”_   So I was right all along. What kind of hopes did I have for this thing anyway? Why did I expect something different? It’s not like we go out on dates secretly or anything else couple-like. He never really shows me any affection, it’s just sex. Rough, slightly painful sex.

_“Bambi, you’re bleeding!” Carla announced, circling the counter to come look at my shoulder._

_I felt someone smack the back of my head and a large hand clamped down on my good shoulder. “You’re a doctor, why didn’t you treat it earlier? You know what infection is, don’t you?”_

 He doesn’t care.

_“You should have said something.” Dr. Cox murmurs._

He’s just using me. I’m easy because he scares me, and he knows I won’t do anything to try and stop him. I’m stuck.

I am to Dr. Cox as a cheap blow up doll is to the Todd, and there isn’t a thing I can do about it.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, JD! You want to go out drinking tonight?” Turk asks, setting his tray down across from me.

I’m supposed to see Dr. Cox tonight. “Sure.”

“Can Keith go with you guys? He’s been complaining about not having enough guy friends because of me.” Elliot murmurs from my right.

Turk looks at me for my opinion.

I shrug. “I plan to get drunk off my ass, I don’t care.”

“Seven tonight, let him know.” Turk announces.

“Since the guys are going out, do you want to catch a movie, Elliot?” Carla asks.

“Sure! It’s been since forever since I last saw a movie in theaters. This place is eating my social life!” Elliot continues to rant as we all eat our lunch.

 

* * *

 

 

I’m drunk off my ass just like I promised. Wait, did I promise or just say so? Who cares! I’m making out with a brunette with the biggest boobs I have ever seen! Or had the pleasure of touching. I pull away and chug my beer, she’s drunk too, I’m pretty sure. I don’t know her name, or at least I don’t remember it.

“Hey, do you have a friend?” Todd asks, pointing his beer at her.

She nods. “But he’s a guy.” She grins wickedly at him, her arms wrapped around my neck as I sway in my seat.

The Todd mutters something with a smirk before slumping in the booth and lying down. I think he just passed out.

Turk is laughing hysterically about something, I don’t know what, but suddenly I’ve joined him.

We both stop abruptly, staring off into space as if searching for what it is we were laughing at.

“Dr. Cox is a pain in my ass.” I mutter suddenly.

“Yea.” Turk agrees, nodding and taking a sip of his beer.

“No, I mean literally, man.” What am I saying? “Literally!”

“Poor Johnny.” The girl sighs, leaning on my shoulder as she sips her Long Island ice tea.

“I’m sick and tired of being his toy.” I grumbled wearily, then chug my beer before reaching for another one.

There’s a sharp whistle from the front door that surprises me so much I fall out of the booth. Dr. Cox is standing over me, arms crossed and glaring. Wait, I didn’t know he had a twin brother. “I didn’t know you had a twin brother!” I giggle, pointing at them.

They both arch a brow at me, and I laugh. He grabs the back of my shirt and hauls me up to my feet. The sudden movement makes me stumble, I lose my footing but he holds me up.

“Oh! Threesome!” The girl cheers, bouncing in joy. I’m staring at her bouncing chest, God I love boobs.

“OK.” Automatic reaction to nice easy boobs, and Dr. Cox smacks me in the head for it.

“Hey!” Turk points at Dr. Cox before falling out of the booth, stumbling to his feet. “Designated driver, yea? Carla is going to kill me if I don’t go home soon.”

Dr. Cox glares at him for a second. “I’ll drive you idiots home. Puke in my car and I’ll kill you.”

“Me too, me too!” The brunette chirps, finishing her drink and standing quickly with barely any trouble.

“Fine.” He grumbles.

Keith follows us. We leave Todd in the booth because I’m sure we’ve all forgotten about him.

Keith sits in front, the most sober of us all, while Turk, the girl, and myself squeeze in the backseat. I’m pretty sure I’m still banned from the front seat anyway.

We drop off Turk first; Carla is waiting outside for him, tapping her foot and hugging herself in her coat. Elliot takes his place in the car, apparently her car broke down.

We drop the couple off next, watching them flirt the entire way to the door before Dr. Cox pulls away from the curb.

It takes twenty minutes for Dr. Cox to convince the big breasted girl not to come home with me, then another ten minutes to talk her out of a threesome, and another five minutes for her to remember her own address.

Dr. Cox walks her to her door. I watch, giggling madly as I see her grab his butt then force his hand on one of her boobs. He waits at the door of her apartment building until what must be her roommate comes down to get her. She smiles apologetically and exchanges a few words with Dr. Cox before retreating inside, struggling to keep her drunk friend on her own feet.

“I don’t want Rowdy to see me like this.” I complain as he returns.

He sighs, starting the car. “I’ll take you back to my place.”

“No…” I whine, throwing my head back before falling over to lie on the backseat. “I don’t want to wake up with a sore head and ass!”

He glances at me in the rearview mirror. “I’m not going to screw you, idiot.”

“Really?” I ask hopefully.

“Really.”

We drive in silence for a couple minutes.

“I’m dizzy.”

“Don’t throw up.”

“OK.”

We stumble awkwardly up to his apartment. The second I lean my forehead on his shoulder he jerks back and looks at me. “You’ve got a fever.” He murmurs.

“I do?”

He slaps a hand to my forehead. “You’re burning up. How much did you drink?” He doesn’t wait for me to answer before picking me up bridal style. I giggle as my vision swims. He carries me into the bedroom and lays me down on the bed. He mutters something about my fever and my body temperature as he strips me down to my underwear. He leaves, returning with a cool washcloth. He sticks a thermometer in my mouth as he wipes the sweat from my body with the wash cloth.

I know it’s the doctor in him that’s doing this for me, but I still can’t stop myself from lifting my hand to his face and cupping his cheek, smiling weakly at him. “You do care.” I whisper. Just before my hand falls from his face and I black out, I see him frown at me, but maybe I just imagined it.


	6. Chapter 6

“Uh, Dr. Dorian?”

I turn my head to see Keith standing beside me, he’s clutching a chart close to his chest and trying to avoid eye contact.

“What is it Keith?” I ask in the most superior voice I can muster.

“Can I talk to you? In private?”

I hum, trying to think of a place to talk where no one will disturb us.

“Here.” Keith leads the way, finding an empty patient’s room.

Together we close all the blinds and put a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door. I recline comfortably on the empty bed while Keith sits in one of the visitors’ chairs.

I extend my hand, waiting for him to hand over the chart.

He glances at my hand before setting the chart aside. “This isn’t about a patient, Dr. Dorian.”

I look at him skeptically. Keith knows I don’t really care for him, why would he talk to me in private about a personal matter? Maybe this is about Elliot?

“This is about the other night when we went drinking.” He explains.

Huh? “What about it?”

“Turk and Todd may not remember much about that night, but I didn’t drink that much, and I do.”

Where is he going with this? Did I say something I shouldn’t have?

“You spent most of the night complaining about Dr. Cox.”

“That’s not something new.”

“I know, but it’s the kind of things you said.” He shrugs, looking away.

Oh crap.

“He’s using you, if you don’t like it, why don’t you say something?”

I sit up straight and swing my legs off the side of the bed so I’m facing him. “Keith, what…what did I say?”

“He’s using you for sex, and you hate it.”

I sigh and cover my face with both hands. Double crap. “Keith look, you can’t say a word about this to anyone.” I tell him seriously. “Dr. Cox will kill us both.” I add quietly. “Listen, when this started I didn’t really have feelings for or against it. I never thought about it before.”

“And now? Why don’t you tell him to stop?” Why does he look so concerned?

“Because I…” Why haven’t I? Because he scares me, because I’m afraid he’ll never speak to me again or give me advice or anything if I ask him to stop, because…because… “I’ve…developed feelings for him.” Why did it take me this long to realize it?

He frowns looking up at me. “Doesn’t it hurt?”

“What? The sex?” I chirp curiously.

Keith blushes and sputters. “I-I meant in general. Doesn’t it hurt to know he’s using you like that?”

“Yea.” I smile weakly. “But I’m not going to stop him.”

“Dr…Dorian, are you crying?” Keith blinks at me, looking surprised.

I touch my cheek and sure enough, I am crying.

Keith sits beside me and pulls my head to rest on his shoulder. I don’t sob or sniffle or anything, just cry silently. Keith doesn’t hold me; he doesn’t rock me, or try to comfort me in any way. He just sits there and waits.

After I calm down, it takes a bit of talking and threatening to convince him not to tell anyone, not even Elliot.

Keith did in fact have a small question about a patient, so after we’d both relaxed and straightened our clothes and hair and whatnot I took a look at the chart he’d brought in with him.

The door suddenly flies open, slamming against the wall with a loud bang. Keith and I both jump, looking up to see Dr. Cox standing in the doorway. “I don’t think Barbie will be too happy to hear you locked yourself in a room with Ken, Skipper.” He murmurs in amusement, arms crossed.

“I had a personal problem.” Keith stutters. “And a question about a patient.”

Dr. Cox strolls closer, taking the chart from my hands and flipping through the pages.

While he’s preoccupied I take the opportunity to voice my opinion. “All her tests came back negative?”

“Yes.” Keith nods.

“Don’t do anything, keep checking up on her though. It may be what’s called drug fever. I had a patient like this once, it happens when someone is bounced ward to ward.” I tell him, glancing at Dr. Cox out of the corner of my eye.

Keith nods, looking at Dr. Cox for his chart back.

He slams the chart closed and hands it back. “Good call there, Newbie. Now come with me.” He murmurs, leaving the room.

I follow, trying to ignore Keith’s stare as I do.

 

* * *

 

I kick Sasha. Stupid scooter broke down again. I bet it was the Janitor, he’s always messing with my things.

Dr. Cox exits the hospital a few minutes later to find me hugging my scooter and apologizing profusely to it.

“Newbie, what in the world are you doing?”

“The Janitor messed with Sasha again.” I murmur, petting her seat.

I hear him sigh. “I’ll give you a ride.”

“Really?”

“Get in before I change my mind.” He snaps.

I follow and wait for him to unlock the doors. “It’s not going to be free, you know?”

“Huh?” I chirp, opening the door.

He motions for me to get in and close the door. I don’t know if I like this, Dr. Cox can get awfully perverted when he’s horny.

“You were sick for two days.”

Crap, he’s horny.

We sit silently for a few minutes. He’s staring at me suggestively, waiting for me to catch whatever hint he’s throwing at me. Then I notice his eyes darting downward and I understand. “While you’re driving?” I squawk.

“Relax, Dana. I can handle it.” He starts the car and pulls out of the parking space.

I carefully undo his pants, stretching out on the front seat so no one will notice me. I’m still hesitant about doing this while he’s driving, and I think it shows, because the second he stops at a red light his hands leave the steering wheel. One hand grabs my hair while the other forces my mouth open, pushing me down and holding me there. One hand returns to the wheel.

He holds my head until he’s sure I won’t pull away.

Over time I hear his breathing become heavier.

I feel the car park and he turns off the engine. He jerks my head back and pulls me up, kissing me. He practically rips off the clothes covering my lower half before pulling me roughly onto his lap. Our lips are still locked as he quickly prepares me. His hands grip my hips and he pulls me down, sliding into me with ease.

I pull away from the kiss to throw my head back and moan, I arch back, which is a mistake cause I lean on the horn and scare the crap out of myself. I jerk forward, hearing Dr. Cox chuckle at my expense.

His hands move from my hips to my ass, lifting me up and letting gravity and my own weight bring me back down.

“Hah…Where…?” I turn my head and glance out the window. We’re parked in the middle of the woods. Where the hell are we?

“No one will see.” He hisses.

Oh, oh, not the ear. “Ah!” I voluntarily speed up and I can feel him smirk against my ear. 

My hands are fisted in the shoulders of his jacket, trying to keep myself upright so I don’t lean on the horn again.

Suddenly Dr. Cox’s hips jerk upward, meeting my downward thrusts. Good God, I’m not going to last long at all.

I bow my head and pant into his neck as our pace gets even faster and harder.

I throw my head back and bite my bottom lip as I come.

“Don’t fucking do that!” He snaps, twisting so we’re lying down and I’m on the bottom. It’s uncomfortable, but that doesn’t matter right now. The second he pushes my knees towards my shoulders I know I won’t sit or walk right for the next several weeks.


	7. Chapter 7

Turk and I are lounging on the couch watching ‘Friends’. Turk’s hand dives into the bowl of popcorn.

“You know, I always thought Chandler and Monica should have told everybody about their relationship.” Turk murmurs suddenly. “All that sneaking around can’t be good for them.”

“But they lasted so long, and they even got married and had kids.” I reasoned. “It was the thrill of being caught.”

“Yea but at the end it was so confusing and ‘they don’t know that we know that they know that we know that they know’, you know what I mean man?”

I nod my head. “No.” I grin and we share a laugh.

“But that’s the kind of thing that’s bound to happen, you know? A relationship that starts as just sex is about to sprout feelings.”

I chuckle. “You’re full of crap.”

Turk laughs. “No really. Look at you and Elliot when you guys were sex-buddies, and Elliot and Keith with the whole bootie-call thing.”

“So are you saying secrecy is a good thing, or a bad thing?”

“You tell me man, you’ve been seeing this mystery girl for how long now?” He grins, slapping my shoulder.

I frown.

“Girls’ a wild thing, huh? I see you coming in to work every once-in-a-while waddling around like you just went horseback riding, dude.”

“What did you just say?” Carla’s voice snaps as she comes in the front door.

Turk and I duck for cover, scrambling around and spouting useless excuses for this and that. I trip over Rowdy when I see Dr. Cox follow Carla inside carrying several bags of groceries, he’s followed by Keith and Elliot, both with arms full. Turk stops in his fumbling around the apartment to laugh at me and extend a hand to help me up.

“Bad Rowdy.” I mutter halfheartedly, taking my best friend’s hand and letting him hoist me up.

“Lucy, Ethel, what are you two watching?”

“Oh! Is this the episode where Ross and Joey take a nap together, I missed that one.” Elliot chirps, plopping down on the battered couch.

Keith joins her, wrapping his arms around her. I sit on the other side of Elliot while Turk sits in one of the chairs. Elliot leans her head on my shoulder and I lean my head on hers.

“Thank you, Dr. Cox for helping me carry the groceries in _and_ put them away.” Carla’s sarcastic voice shouts.

“Sh!” We all hiss.

Carla sighs loudly.

“They look so cute.” Elliot coos as Joey and Ross cuddle on the yellow couch in Joey’s apartment.

Dr. Cox plops down on the couch beside me, arms extended over the back of the couch. The extra weight causes me to fall into him and I scramble to try and push away.

“You’re staying?” Turk asks.

“I invited him for dinner.” Carla explains.

“Plus Jordan is staking out my apartment.” He adds, looking at me oddly as I try to move so I’m not sitting on him.

Elliot grabs my pants and hauls me over with her freakish strength, apparently she and Keith moved over to make room. We all relax and watch the TV.

 

* * *

 

“Are you going to stay the night and avoid Jordan?” Carla asked, stretching as she stood from Turk’s lap.

“I think I have to.” Cox grumbled, glancing at his shoulder. “Newbie is asleep, at least he’s not drooling on me.”

Carla smiled fondly at the sleeping boy. “You know, I’m sure Bambi wouldn’t mind if you wanted to stay for the next couple nights. Turk and I are going down to visit his parents, we’ll be back Monday morning. You can sleep in our room.”

“Hm, I’ll think about it.” The older doctor hummed.

“Come on Elliot, Keith, you guys have got to go home.” Carla murmured quietly, shaking the couple gently.

Elliot sat up and stretched. She turned her head to look at JD, letting a small smile flit across her face. “He was always so cute when he was asleep.”

“Come on, stop cooing over Bambi and get on home.” Carla whispered.

Turk stood, stretching. “I’m heading to bed, baby.” He yawned, scratching his chest as he wandered groggily towards the bedroom door.

Elliot exchanged a quick hug goodbye with Carla, whispering goodnight to Dr. Cox and the sleeping JD before dragging Keith out the door.

Carla cleaned up a bit more before following Turk to bed.

“Stupid kid.” Cox whispered, running his fingers through JD’s moose-d hair, finding it surprisingly less stiff and sticky then the first time he’d ever run his hand through the boy’s hair.

Carefully he stood, then lifted the younger man into his arms and carried him towards JD’s bedroom.

 

* * *

 

Note to self: when and if everyone finds out about this relationship, kill Carla.

We’ve been having sex almost non-stop since Carla and Turk left on Friday morning. It’s Sunday afternoon now.

This morning Dr. Cox found a pair of handcuffs in my nightstand while looking for more lubricant, I’ve been attached to my headboard ever since. My wrists are sore, my arms are cramping, but like hell do I care. Dr. Cox has had me on Cloud Nine all day so far, I see no end and I couldn’t be any happier.

A specific noise shatters my bliss and causes both of us to freeze.

The front door just opened and we can hear Turk and Carla arguing.

We wait in silence for a couple minutes before Dr. Cox’s hips jerk. I gasp unexpectedly, looking up at him with surprise. He’s smirking smugly down at me.

“Are you insane?” I hiss quietly. “Those two have freakish hearing.”

He doesn’t answer and keeps going, speeding up as I bite my lip to hold in the noises of pleasure I know I’m bound to make. Facing him like this I can’t muffle myself in the pillow, and I bet he knows that.

“Ah…!” The first noise to escape me is breathless, but then he nips my ear and angles _just right_ and I scream at the top of my lungs.

The voices in the living room have gone quiet; I’m not sure how I can tell that over my own panting and moaning. I think I hear Turk asking Rowdy who’s in here with me, I mentally tell Rowdy to keep his muzzle shut.

Dr. Cox grunts as my legs wrap around his waist. “A little more.” He hisses into my ear.

We both come simultaneously within the next five minutes. He un-cuffs me, and as we both start to doze off I’m silently glad Dr. Cox locked the door to my bedroom.

 

* * *

 

I wake to the sound of the TV in the living room, the theme song to the ‘Brady Bunch’ if I’m not mistaken. Dr. Cox is sitting up beside me, flipping through one of my comic books.

I pull myself closer and lay my head on his stomach. He glances down at me before returning to his reading or whatever it is he’s doing with my comic book.

“How old are you again?”

He’s making fun of me. I huff and bite him in retaliation, too tired to verbally reprimand him.

“Ouch.” He smacks my head with the comic book.

I grumble and close my eyes, falling back to sleep.

When I wake again it’s the middle of the night and Dr. Cox is gone. He must have left when it was safe after Turk and Carla had gone to bed. I shrug and roll over to fall back to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

My fingers are in my ears, blocking out noise as I repeat “la, la, la,” over and over again. Turk and Carla are following close behind me, whining and teasing me.

I can faintly hear Carla’s voice mockingly asking why I’m the screamer.

I stop inside the threshold of the hospital and Turk begins dancing around me, not long after Carla joins him.

“La, la, la…” I continue. It’s beginning to sound like ‘The Song that Never Ends’, I have to stop watching those Lamb Chop reruns.

“What’s with the powwow? Pocahontas, Sacagawea…Carla?” Dr. Cox’s voice booms over all the noise. It figures he’d never give Carla a nickname. I wonder whose whom?

 Turk and Carla have stopped dancing around me, I’m still humming ‘The Song That Never Ends’ but I’ve taken my fingers out of my ears.

“Hey!” Elliot cheers, coming in behind me. “This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend….”

I join her. “Some people, started singing it not knowing what it was and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…”

Turk joins us then and after about three verses Dr. Cox snaps at us to shut the hell up.

“But it’s the song that never ends…” Elliot frowns.

“And it goes on and on my friend.” Turk adds with a hint of a smile.

“Some people started singing it not knowing what it was…” I grin.

“And they’ll continue singing it forever just because…” We chorus.

Dr. Cox rolls up the wad of papers in his hand and smacks each of us on the head.

“Hey, hey, I hear somebody got some long hot action this weekend, am I right? Oh Yeah!” The Todd comes in and raises his hand in front of me. It takes me a second to realize what he’s talking about.

“Turk!” I yell, spinning on my heel to face him.

He has the nerve to look sheepish. “I’m sorry man but…hot damn you should have heard the scream you let out!” He grins and high-fives Todd.

“She’s a wildcat, huh JD?” Todd smirks knowingly.

The two of them look like little kids eager to hear their favorite bedtime story.

“I tried to stay up to see who she is but you guys went quiet after that, I thought you’d keep me up but I actually fell asleep on the couch waiting.” Carla says.

“Tire yourselves out, huh?” Todd chuckles.

“Well we had been doing it all weekend…” I cover my mouth the second those words leave my lips. I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Damn you brain!

Turk and Todd’s faces light up like it’s Christmas morning, Carla is muffling a giggle behind her hand, and Elliot is gaping at me.

“Well…” Dr. Cox begins.

Elliot smacks me suddenly. “You never had that kind of stamina when we were dating!”

“Elliot!” Keith’s voice rings out as he enters the room.

“It’s true!” She screeches.

I still have my hands over my mouth. Nothing else incriminating is leaving my lips.

“I’ve decided today I’m going to call you by as many stripper and cheesy hooker names as I can think of.” Dr. Cox grins widely.

I roll my eyes. Just great.

“Come Candy!” He whistles sharply, turning around and waving a chart in the air.

Today is going to be hell in a hand basket.

“Jasmine!”

Crap! I hurry after him, one hand still over my mouth.

As I catch up he begins explaining the patient to me, not even glancing at me as he flips the chart open and closed. He comes to an abrupt halt and turns to face me. “So I want you to…what are you doing with your hand, Destiny?”

I blink at him innocently and shake my head.

He smacks me with the metal chart. “Idiot, put your hand down.”

I comply. But I’m not talking for the rest of the day.

“So what are you going to do now?” He asks me, waving the chart.

Must. Not. Talk.

He growls, smacking me with the chart again. “Speak, Ginger!”

I yelp cause that last hit hurt. “Blood cultures!”

“Good Newbie, good girl.” He ruffles my hair and pops something in my mouth while I’m not looking before walking off. Yum, gummy bears.

“Huh, he does keep treats in his pocket for you.” Jordan smirks as she strolls by.

Today is turning out very oddly.

 

* * *

 

“Come on man, give us something.” Turk pleads.

It’s lunchtime; Turk and Todd are sitting across from me, eager looks on their faces. Todd is leaning as far forward as he possibly can, practically grinning from ear to ear, nodding his head in earnest. I’ve always had this feeling ever since Turk and Carla got serious, that Turk was living part of his sex life through me. I don’t think he’d be too comfortable with my current sex life.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I repeat, I’ve been saying the same sentence for the last ten minutes.

“Dr. Cox! JD listens to you, get him to talk to us.” Todd calls out with a grin.

Dr. Cox approaches the table; his arms crossed and looking particularly annoyed with just about all of us. “Listen here Golden Girls, I am in no mood for your biddy gossip and disgusting sex tales of your younger years. If Blanche doesn’t want to talk then thank God for small miracles because I’m not about to make her. So Rose, Dorothy, I suggest you go out and get yourselves laid so you no longer have to live through the pathetic stories of your livelier and more experienced girlfriend, no matter how sad that may be.”

“Why am I the slut-ty one?” I chirp curiously.

Dr. Cox stares down at me, an eyebrow raised curiously before reaching out and smacking me upside the head.

“I have a girlfriend, remember Carla?” Turk defends himself.

Dr. Cox hums, nodding his head. “Then why are you living your sex life through her?” He jerks his head in my direction as he pulls a chair over and sits down.

“JD is my best friend…” Turk begins.

“Carla seems just as interested.” Todd announces with a perverted grin, nodding his head. “Maybe…”

Dr. Cox tosses an empty soda can at Todd’s head. “Don’t finish that sentence.” He warns.

“I don’t get it JD, you’re usually pretty cool with sharing stories.” Turk says to me, ignoring the other two occupants of the table.

I shrug, poking the meat of my sloppy Joe with my fork. “I just don’t want to talk about it.” 

Turk sighs and looks me in the eye. “All right buddy, but if you ever want to talk, you know I’m here for you right?”

I love Turk. “Yea, thanks.” I smile gratefully.

“Aw, how touching.” Dr. Cox sighs dramatically, head resting on his hand and pretending to be looking at us dreamily.

“You know our relationship isn’t all that weird.” Turk says, his voice rising. Uh oh, Turk is getting defensive; he’s going to say something stupid. “At least we don’t play ‘gay-chicken’ or anything like that!”

Oh no, he looks like he’s going to explode. I suddenly have a random memory flash of that time Jordan told him we slept together.

“T-Dawg’s got a point.” Todd says.

Dr. Cox’s attention shifts to the bandana-wearing idiot sitting across from him.

Both surgeons are saved as Dr. Cox’s pager goes off. He checks it and leaves in a huff, knocking over his chair and glaring as he leaves.

“Have the two of you lost your minds?” I hiss quietly.

“I don’t know what I was thinking.” Turk’s eyes look wild as he says this, looking around as if Dr. Cox is going to pop back in and kill him.

“So, about that girl…” Todd grins.

I groan and slump back in my chair.

 

* * *

 

What’s one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a person during sex? You’re probably thinking something like coming prematurely, falling off the bed, saying something utterly stupid for no reason in the throws of passion, and other things like that, right? Nope, in my opinion the most embarrassing thing that can happen during sex is your partner throwing his back out right when you’re both at the edge. This is my current predicament.

I’d like to be doing something helpful like maybe rubbing his shoulders, but I’m handcuffed to the headboard again, apparently he likes the extra control or something.

“Dr. Cox…”

“Shut up Newbie.” He growled at me through gritted teeth. His eyes are closed and he really looks like he’s in pain.

I stay silent, unwilling to disobey him and face whatever horrible consequences he may think up. Dr. Cox is scary when it comes to revenge slash payback; may I remind you of Lavern’s church choir group?

Dr. Cox takes several deep breaths and starts moving again. I gasp, startled before stopping his hips with my legs.

“What?” He snaps at my startled expression.

“You’re going to seriously hurt yourself if you continue!” I shout. I’m trying to sound reprimanding but my voice squeaks with slight fear at the disgruntled look on his face. “Pull out and lie down!”

“I can deal with a little pain, Angie.”

He is so stubborn! “Get off!” I’m glad I can raise my voice, I don’t think it’d be quite as effective if I had to whisper to avoid Turk and/or Carla overhearing.

Oh, my ear, not fair.

Incoherence-y is a wonderful thing. But wait…aren’t I supposed to be stopping him from hurting himself? “Dr…Cox…s-stop…”    

Why won’t he listen to me?

“You’re…going to… _oh_ …hurt yourself…” Let go of my ear you evil, evil bastard!

“What does it matter?” He growls into my ear.

I want to tell him that it matters because I care, but those aren’t the words that come out of my mouth. “Get off me! Now!”

He growls loudly and I sink my head back into the pillow. He jerks back and rolls over to lie next to me. I hear him sigh quietly in relief, but his head is turned to the side and he isn’t looking at me.

A couple seconds later he reaches over and un-cuffs me, letting the metal handcuffs fall back behind the bed with a loud clunk. As I’m rubbing my sore wrists he pushes me off the bed. The floor is a lot harder than it looks.

He’s angry, really angry.

Instead of inciting his wrath I decide to get dressed and leave. I leave painkillers and a glass of water on the nightstand for him, and I put his boxers within reach as an afterthought. He doesn’t look at me once, so I leave quietly.


	9. Chapter 9

“JD, have you seen Dr. Cox?” Elliot asked, leaning on the table.

I’m doing paperwork in the lounge in hopes of avoiding Dr. Cox, I know he’s got to be angry. I’ve been lucky so far. “No, I haven’t seen him since yesterday.”

“Seen who?” Carla asked as she entered the room, joining Turk on the couch. Wow, when did he get there?

“Dr. Cox. Have you seen him Carla?” Elliot asked, leaning back and putting her hands on her hips. “I wanted to talk to him about a patient.”

“He called out sick this morning.” Carla announced.

“Really?”

“The invincible Dr. Cox called in sick?” Turk chuckled.

“Everybody gets sick some time, Turk.” Carla scolded.

“But…but Dr. Cox is…is like Superman!” Elliot squeaked, sounding hysterical. “He can’t be sick!”

“Elliot, I think we’ll all survive one day without Dr. Cox to look over our shoulder.” I told her with a sigh, trying desperately to concentrate on my paperwork. So boring!

“Wow Bambi, that sounded really mature.”

“Did Dr. Cox piss you off or something?”

I blink up at Elliot. “What? No. Why?”

“Last time Dr. Cox took a day off you flipped out and paged him every five minutes.” Turk grinned back at me.

“I was still an intern and had no idea what I was doing. Besides, he wasn’t sick, he just took a personal day.” I shrugged.

“To get a day off from you, Bambi.”

I grumbled and went back to my paperwork.

“I suppose Dr. Cox could use the day off.” Elliot sighed.

“Barbie!”

We all jumped at the sound of Dr. Cox’s voice. He was leaning in the doorframe wearing sweats and his hockey jersey, holding up his pager with a scowl on his face.

“D-Dr. Cox, what are you doing here? I thought you took the day off?” Elliot chirped nervously.

“I did. Do you want to tell me why your interns are paging me?”

She caught the pager as he tossed it at her, checking the number with a scowl. “I told Keith I changed my schedule.” She glanced up at Dr. Cox sheepishly. “Sorry, you know you could have just paged me or something, you didn’t have to come all the way down here.”

He grumbled something about talking to Keith as he walked into the room, sitting down on the couch with a heavy sigh.

Carla looked at him, eyes narrowed. “You threw your back out again, didn’t you?”

Dr. Cox growled back at her.

“You did, didn’t you? You know you’re not as young as you used to be, you have to stop pushing yourself.” She sighed angrily. “What did you do this time?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“If you’re in pain, why did you come all the way down here?” Elliot asked worriedly, fiddling with her pager.

“I’m fine.”

“Sure.” Carla didn’t sound at all convinced. “Have you taken anything?”

“Yes.”

“How can you concentrate with all this talking, dude?” Turk asked with a grin, leaning over the back of the couch. He already knows the answer before he even asked me.

“I can’t.” I mumble, rubbing my temples to try and slow the oncoming headache.

“So sorry, Bethany.” Dr. Cox exclaimed sarcastically. “Everyone keep it down, Claire needs to concentrate.”

Jerk. I pack up my things and toss them into my bag.

“JD, where are you going?” Elliot asked. “Damn it Keith, answer your pager! Frick!”

“Perhaps the on-call room will be quieter.” I smile sarcastically. “And free of stubborn jerks too.” I mumble under my breath as I leave the room.

 

* * *

 

I shouldn’t have turned that last corner, I didn’t really need to anyway, and I’d just wanted to ask Carla if she’d seen Turk.

How could I have forgotten? Forgotten that my feelings are only one-sided? That I am just as useful to Dr. Cox as a cheap plastic blow-up doll?

I won’t cry. I _won’t_. Despite these desperate thoughts I can feel my eyes watering. I close my eyes tightly and shake my head.

I have patients to see. I’ll see Turk at lunch or something.

I turn away from the happy scene of Dr. Perry Cox kissing his ex-wife by the nurses’ station while their son clings to his leg like a koala bear.

 

* * *

 

“Newbie, I need to talk to you.”

“Sorry Dr. Cox, I’m so busy today. Elliot had to leave early so I’m taking over all her patients and interns.” I explained, walking past him without looking at him.

He grabs my arm roughly and jerks me around to look at him; he’s seething, muscles twitching in restrained anger.

Mentally preparing myself I pull away with more ease than I expected and take a step back. “We’ll have to talk some other time. I’m busy.”

He takes a good portion of the charts from my arms and hands them off to a passing doctor. “There, you’ve got plenty of time now.”

“Wait…” He grabs my wrist and turns to start pulling me down the hall, but I jerk back and pull free of his grip. “I don’t want to talk.”

“I do.” He growls.

“There isn’t anything _to_ talk about!” My voice raises, and even though I’m aware we’re standing in the middle of the hall, I don’t really care.

He looks a little surprised, but whether it’s because I’m defying him and standing up to him or because I raised my voice and am actually showing some balls, I don’t know. He scowled at me, crossing his arms and trying to look intimidating.

“Nothing to talk about.” I say, my voice lowering to something more normal. I sweep past him, following the man who’d unwillingly taken my charts.

 

* * *

 

My head is throbbing. I don’t think I’ve cried this much since I was twelve and Dan accidentally ran over our dog.

I was able to keep myself together for the rest of the day, and avoid Dr. Cox as well. But I swear the second my bedroom door closed behind me the floodgates burst.

I finally stopped crying about ten minutes ago, now I’m just staring at myself in the mirror. I look so tired. Have you ever noticed how smooth the skin on your face gets after you’ve cried? Maybe saltwater is good for the skin?

Turk and Carla won’t be home for a couple more hours, and Turk is on-call tonight too, so I’m left to occupy myself until then. I might as well get some sleep.

The doorbell rings suddenly, startling me. Probably one of the neighbors was returning Rowdy, or Elliot was stopping by for some random reason.

This would be the second time I guessed wrong about who was at the door. But this time I do try to slam the door in his face, it doesn’t work. Dr. Cox pushes his way inside as I stomp away from the door, intent on locking myself in my room until he leaves.

He grabs my arm roughly and jerks me around for the second time today, slamming me into the bar with more force than he really needed. I wince at the stab of pain across my lower back as I hit the counter.

“What the hell is wrong with you today?” He snaps, face to face and so close I think he’s going to do something more intimate than yell at me.

I hate him. I hate him for making me feel like this about him, making me fall in love with him. “Let go.” I whisper with my head bowed so he won’t see the evidence of my crying. “Get off!” I push him with more strength than I’m aware of and he stumbles back into the couch.

“Newbie…”

“Shut up!” Frustrated tears stream down my face, but I hardly notice them, and hardly care. “I’m not doing this anymore! This, this thing, whatever it is. I want it to stop.” My hands are gesturing wildly; I think this whole situation has made me crazy.

“Will you listen to me, Cassandra?” He sounds so worn out.

“No, and my name is JD! Get Out!” I’ve gone crazy; I may lose him forever. This, wasn’t this better? “We aren’t anything but colleagues. So…” I pause, lowering my voice and hanging my head so I don’t have to look at him. “Get out. It’s inappropriate for you to be here.”

There’s silence, and then he storms out with a growl, the door slamming behind him and bouncing off the frame. I leave it and go hide in my room. 

 

* * *

 

“JD?” Carla’s voice is soft and concerned as she knocks on my bedroom door. I can imagine her hugging the flat surface, ear pressed against the wood like she’s trying to hear every little noise inside my room. “The front door was open, and there’s a mess too, are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” I mutter weakly.

“What happened? Did someone break in?”

“No, everything’s fine Carla.”

“It doesn’t sound fine.” She pauses. “Are you sure you’re OK?” The locked door handle jiggles futile-y and I can hear her sigh. “JD?”

“I’m fine; I just need to be left alone for a little while.” I tell her, snuggling further into my sheets as I pull a pillow over my head. “Please Carla.”

She sighs and rests her head softly against my door. “OK Bambi, but promise me you’ll eat something.”

I smile at her concern. “It’s not that bad, don’t worry.”

“How bad is it?”

I sigh, unwrapping my cocoon of blankets and standing. She looks up at me worriedly as I open the door and stare down at her. “It’s just heartbreak.”

“Oh Bambi…” She hugs me and I let her, needing the comfort more than I’d originally thought.

I’m an idiot.


	10. Chapter 10

Life at the hospital has been uncomfortable for the last three weeks. Dr. Cox has fallen into the habit of only talking to me when it’s absolutely necessary, and I swear I keep catching him staring at me, but it may be my over-active and hopeful imagination.

Carla has been watching me like a hawk ever since that night. I didn’t tell her anything but she still thinks I’m going to do something horrible like cutting myself or something like that.

Granted I did cut myself the other day but that was an accident, I swear, just my clumsy self. Dr. Cox was forced to bandage my wrist while Carla lectured me and tended to my patient. I heard him mutter something like “children shouldn’t play with scalpels” while he treated me. I found it odd how gently he held my wrist as he wrapped it. At first I thought it was his way of saying he was sorry, since he’d never say it aloud, but then I realized what an idiot I was being, Dr. Cox would probably never regret anything he ever did unless it involved a patient.

“Bambi…” Carla’s voice sounded scolding as she turned to me, hands on her hips. “I know this is hard on you, maybe you should go home for the day.”

I blushed because Dr. Cox is still standing beside me, flipping through a chart. “I-It’s nothing. I’m fine! Just a slip of the hand, I promise.” I smile reassuringly, waving my hands in front of me as I back out of the room.

 

* * *

 

Turk leans against the counter beside me, a contemplative look on his face. He smiles suddenly, leaning his head in the palm of his hand. “Le sigh.” He sighs in almost boredom.

“Pepe Le Pew!” I announce triumphantly with a grin.

“Damn, I knew it would be too easy.” My best friend grumbles, shaking his head at me.

I see Dr. Cox appear out of the corner of my eye. “I’ll see you later dude, patients, you know?” I say, patting Turk on the shoulder.

“Yea man, I got surgery in twenty minutes.” He tells me, glancing at the clock.

I give a nod and turn down the hall. Avoiding Dr. Cox is becoming harder and harder to do lately.

I turn into an empty corridor, which is odd because this hallway is usually bustling with doctors and patients. I push the ‘up’ elevator button and wait patiently.

I almost panic when I’m pushed face first into the wall, a hand slapped over my mouth, until I recognize the weight pressed against my back. “Get Off!” I shout into his hand. It sounds more like ‘ger goff’, which can probably be translated as ‘Jerk off’. I love word games.

He spins me around to face him and slams me against the wall, staring me in the eyes so intently that my voice freezes in my throat. “Listen to me.” He growls warningly.

I wisely keep my trap shut and listen to whatever it is he had to say to me. Unfortunately he doesn’t speak, he kisses me. He kisses me hard. I’ve missed this so much that my eyes flutter shut and my brain refuses to make proper judgments while I relent to his kisses and even kiss back a little.

It’s when my hands lift to tangle in his hair that I realize what I’m doing and instead I push him away. His hands are gripping my hips tightly so he doesn’t go as far as I intended, but our lip-lock has been disrupted at least. “Wha…”

“I said listen.”

“K-Kissing does not require listening, or talking for that matter.” I feel so articulate. Isn’t that a fun word? Articulate.

“Newbie!” Dr. Cox snaps, bringing me back to reality.

“Huh?” Yep. That sounded _real_ articulate.

“Listen closely Sheila, ‘cause I’m only saying this once, understand?”

I nod numbly and wait patiently for him to continue.

He seems to hesitate, the hall almost eerily quiet as I wait patiently for him to speak.

I notice our position as I wait. His hands are gripping my hips, his own hips pressing mine into the wall, and my hands are resting on his shoulders. I flex my fingers, unconsciously massaging his tense shoulders, and I find myself staring at the neckline of his T-shirt.

Dr. Cox has a nice body. _Very_ nice. I mean, for a guy. God, Dr. Cox made me gay.

I have a random craving for an Appletini right now. Mmm, Appletini…

“You know I’m not good at expressing myself.” Dr. Cox mutters quietly.

“Yea,” I grin, ‘Ice, Ice Baby’ popping into my head.

He reaches up and smacks me. “You’re thinking something stupid.”

“How do you know that?” I ask defiantly.

“Well?” He cocks an eyebrow and waits for me to reply.

“Ice, ice baby…” He smacks me again.

“I’m trying to be serious here, so shut up.”

“Right.” My eyes return to the neckline of his shirt.

“Like I said, I’m not good at expressing my feelings.” He pauses, then growls and grumbles something under his breath.

I blink, lifting my head to look at the opposite wall as his head rests on my shoulder, warm breath ghosting over my neck and making me shiver slightly. “Dr. Cox?”

He’s silent for a couple moments. “JD.” He sighs.

Like an epiphany I suddenly understand what he’s trying to say to me. “You like me?”

He grunts. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

I smile, happy, before remembering something. “What about Jordan?”

He lifts his head from my shoulder and stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. “What about her?”

“I saw you kissing her.”

He sighs loudly, rolling his eyes a little. “Ariel…”

“I’m not a sex toy. Jordan…”

His hands grip my shoulders and he shakes me a little until I look up at him. “Listen very closely to what I’m about to tell you. Jordan is like a siren; an evil, soul-sucking siren.”

“But…”

“But,” he shakes me again, this time to shut me up. “She is still the mother to my son, Jack.”

I frown, this is true.

“Jordan…we have no relations anymore, well…” He sighs again. “Not like this anyway.”

I bite my bottom lip in thought. “OK, I can deal with that.”

“Good,” He smirks as he pushes the ‘up’ elevator button again. “Now I get to molest you.”

“What?” I yelp as the doors open and he pushes me inside the empty elevator car, backing me into a corner.

“How many times have I told you not to bite your lip like that?”

I blink dumbly, drawing a blank. “Uh…”

Dr. Cox takes advantage of my open mouth, swooping in and kissing me harshly.

One of my hands tangles in his curls while the other wraps around his back and fists his jacket.

The elevator dings and the doors open. I hear the voices of Elliot, Carla, and Keith enter. Their conversation dies down and I can hear Elliot giggle.

The second time the elevator chimes brings Turk, Todd, and Dr. Kelso.

There’s silence for several moments before The Todd makes a catcall.

“Honestly Perry, this is a hospital.” Dr. Kelso grumbles.

“Looks like JD’s not the only one getting some action.” Todd whispers loudly, snapping his fingers.

Thank God they don’t realize it’s me. Now that I think about it, Dr. Cox does sort of tower over me, and he’s broader shoulder-wise. I suddenly feel very tiny.

I giggle slightly into our kiss as I imagine a little mini-me riding around in Dr. Cox’s coat pocket.

Dr. Cox digs his fingers into my ass cheek and squeezes hard for my troubles. My eyes water and I whine in protest at the pain, tugging lightly at his hair. He simply grunts and bites my lip.

“Oh, for God’s sake.” Dr. Kelso sighs loudly as the elevator chimes and he steps off.

“Come on baby, let’s leave the love-birds alone.” Turk says as he tugs Carla’s arm. “You can investigate Dr. Cox once you’ve figured out who JD’s mystery girlfriend is.”

“Fine.” Carla replies unhappily. Keith and Elliot follow them out.

As the doors begin to close Dr. Cox pulls away and growls. “Out.”

The Todd skitters out of the closing doors like his future in sex depends on it.

 

* * *

 

So, everything is back to normal. Sort of, at least. Dr. Cox and I have decided to keep our relationship a secret for a little bit longer since it’s working for us. I think he just likes to humiliate me. But other than that, it’s just like it was before any of this happened.

Currently, we’re all eating lunch together. ‘All’ includes Dr. Cox, Carla, Elliot, Turk, Keith, and myself.

“It’s someone who works here.” Elliot declared.

I’d like to point out the fact that everyone is trying to figure out who Dr. Cox was making out with in the elevator this morning.

“Duh, Elliot, she was wearing scrubs.” Carla remarks.

“Blue scrubs!” Turk shouts. “Just like JD’s!”

I blink innocently, hoping they won’t put two and two together.

“With short black hair.” Keith adds with a grin, glancing at me slyly.

Oh, God, Keith No! If Dr. Cox finds out you know…The hand on my leg grips my thigh painfully. Owies!

I’m going to die. And it’s all Keith’s fault.


End file.
